


Wider Than A Mile

by fangsforasking



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Post S2, Some Crack, Tension, Werewolves, light fluff, yes i have a whole plan but haven't written it yet, yes shenanigans will ensue, yes the werewolf is played by jason mantzoukas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangsforasking/pseuds/fangsforasking
Summary: “Oh? The werewolf? Yes, it was all my idea and not Guillermo’s since I am in charge of this house. It’s a strategy that no one would expect, not even the Vampiric Council.”The Staten Island House gets a werewolf roommate; shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write this fic just to put Jason Mantzoukas into the WDDITS universe? Maybe so...

A tall, scruffy man leaned against the wall outside the Staten Island house. His dark hair and beard could, at best, be described as tousled, but really it was just sitting uncombed and wildly around his head. He wore a ripped up hoodie and even more tattered jeans, like it was the only pair of clothing he owned. 

As the door opened, the light of the candles inside reflected against his eyes, flashing them yellow. Guillermo beckoned him in, and the stranger greeted him.

“What’s up jerks?”

\----

Guillermo had spoken to the documentary in an interview earlier in the day about their new guest.

“Yeah, so I thought it might be a good deterrent to have a werewolf stay with us for a little bit while we figure out if the Vampiric Council is still after us. I found Jason on Craigslist looking for a place to stay for a few months, so I invited him to rent out Colin’s old room downstairs.”

He looked off camera as the crew asked him a question.

“Were the vampires happy when I told them I had invited him?” Guillermo paused, clearly thinking of the right way to put it. 

-

“It’s a fucking stupid idea. I’ll tell you that,” Lazlo pounded the chair emphatically in his and Nadja’s room, speaking to the camera. “How is a werewolf going to stop the bloody Council’s assassins any more than Giz-Guillermo?”

“Guillermo thinks all of a sudden that because he killed a bunch of vampires, he’s the boss,” Nadja whined. “That stupid donkey, Nandor is really letting him walk all over us.”

-

Nandor sat in his chaise, trying to look nonchalant, but he really seemed quite tense.

“Oh? The werewolf? Yes, it was all my idea and not Guillermo’s since I am in charge of this house. It’s a strategy that no one would expect, not even the Vampiric Council.”

Nandor eyed the crew suspiciously.

“Did anyone say anything different? Because if they did, they’re lying”

-

Colin spun around to face the cameras. He was in an expensive gamer chair. He took off his headset.

“So, I’ve been Twitch streaming, and I’ve actually become quite popular. Disappointing thousands of people in a chatroom with mediocre gameplay is my new thing. I think they’re waiting to see if I get any better which, of course, I won’t,” the energy vampire said with a wide smile.

“But you wanted to know how things were going in the house, right? Oh, it's a veritable smorgasbord at home. Nandor and Guillermo have been dancing around each other with some wild sexual tension between them for weeks. Adding the werewolf to the mix is going to be good eats. Anyway, I got to get back to my subs.” 

His eyes flashed blue as he turned back in his chair.

\----

Guillermo grabbed Jason’s duffle bag from the steps outside as the werewolf strolled through the door, taking in the house. He whistled.

“Nice place. Guillermo! You’re the man for hooking me up here,” Jason said.

“No problem. We just thought it would be a good idea to have someone else around the house with the Vampiric Council on our backs.” 

Guillermo started to lead Jason to his room in the basement. He didn’t get that far before Nandor materialized out of mist suddenly between the two. They jumped at the surprise intrusion.

“We? It was my brilliant plan to invite a werewolf into the home,” Nandor said.

“Whatever you say. It doesn’t really matter whose plan it was,” Guillermo said, trying not to sound exasperated. Nandor had ignored him for a day when he first told him about Jason. 

“Well, Jason, meet Nandor the Relentless. Nandor, this is Jason,” Guillermo said. Nandor grimaced at the lack of honorific. Guillermo had stopped calling Nandor, “Master,” after the incident at the theatre, but Nandor had not let it go yet.

“Nice to meet you, man.” Jason held out his hand.

“I thought werewolves were always a part of packs,” Nandor said as he sniffed at the werewolf, refusing to acknowledge his outstretched hand.

“Oh you know, I’m more of the lone wolf type. Just me, myself, and I. That’s my pack. But now, I’m kind of like the Alpha of this group.” He nudged Nandor with his elbow. “Right, Nandor?”

Nandor grimaced.

“I suppose you are the Alpha  _ werewolf _ of the household given that you are the only one living here. But since I am the oldest vampire here, I am the Alpha,” Nandor said with a hiss. “And I must go do Alpha vampire things now, so I’m sure Guillermo will show you to your room.”

“That’s what I was doing.” Guillermo huffed.

“Well, then you can keep doing it.” Nandor snapped back. He turned abruptly and walked up the stairs to the room.

“Yeesh, is he always like that?” Jason asked.

“Unfortunately, yeah. He’s been especially on edge since the Council came after us again. And I’m not really his familiar anymore, so he’s annoyed he actually has to do stuff for himself” Guillermo said walking down the stairs.

“So why are you still here then?” Jason asked.

“Honestly, I’ve asked myself the same question. But it seems like every time I try to leave, I get pulled back. So, I’ve kind of given up fighting it for now. Anyways, this is your room. It’s not much, but I think you’ll be comfortable,” Guillermo said, dropping his Jason’s bag at the foot of the bed. 

Jason looked around, appraising the space. Guillermo had shoved Colin’s drab shelves to the side and pulled in a mattress from the attic on an old frame. There wasn’t much else to be done because he didn’t have a budget to remodel nor would any of the vampires help fix things up.

“Works for me,” Jason grinned.

“So, we don’t really have much of a kitchen, but you’re free to use that upstairs. You’ll share a bathroom with Colin, so I would be really careful to avoid him, just so he doesn’t knock you out. I’m on the second floor with the vampires if you need anything. I’ll Venmo you for rent and utilities. Does that work?”

Jason was already pulling out more t-shirts and jeans that were just as ripped as the ones he was wearing. He didn’t seem to be paying attention. Guillermo cleared his throat, and the werewolf looked up.

“So Jason, I just wanted to make sure you had a plan for your….time of the month. Is that a thing? I don’t want to offend,” Guillermo took an unsteady breath, waiting for the werewolf’s response.

“Hey man, you gotta relax,” Jason said, grabbing Guillermo’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “I’m a seasoned pro at this. The full moon is in 2 weeks, and by then, I’ll have figured out a place to chill for the night.”

“Jason, the next full moon is tomorrow.” Guillermo said quietly.

“It is?” Jason pulled out his phone, scrolling quickly through his calendar. “Oh boy, it is. Just testing you, it’s called werewolf humor!” Jason started pushing Guillermo out the door as he chuckled nervously.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about anything,” Jason smiled, but his eyes had a wild glow to them. “BUT, I would hide anything you don’t want broken...and hide any peanut butter in the house.”

He had finally gotten Guillermo out of the room and slammed the door. Jason yelled from the other side, “Just in case!”

Guillermo let out another sigh and grumbled, “Just in case?”

He went upstairs to throw the peanut butter out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I will try to update this regularly, but I do have an arc sketched out for a probably 5-6 chapter work. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guillermo and Nandor are at a crossroads.

Thankfully, Jason’s first transformation went without a problem. Guillermo had no idea where he went, but the werewolf hadn’t caused any damage to the house. Guillermo only had to mop up some muddy paw prints left at the front door. After that, he got to work bringing down the vampire’s valuables from the attic where had stashed them just in case a werewolf started running around the place.

The chore took pretty much all day, but he got caught up on all his podcasts, and even had enough time to pick up a nice dinner. His day off was tomorrow, and he was just looking forward to relaxing. 

Just as he was about to take the first bite of his chicken parm, a voice called out from downstairs.

“Guilermooooooo! Come to the Fancy Room this instant!” 

Guillermo waited. He could ignore Nandor, all he had to do was just sit there and eat his dinner. But of course, the vampire yelled again. 

“Guillermo! I’m serious!”

Maybe this was a good time to talk about boundaries, Guillermo thought to himself as he got up from the kitchen table. He hadn’t really fully discussed with the vampire the new terms of their living arrangement since Nandor found out the full extent of his slaying capabilities, and this would be a perfect example of something Guillermo couldn’t tolerate anymore.

By the time, he thought of a game plan for the conversation, he had made it to the fancy room. Nandor was scowling as he paced from one side of the room to the other. He hadn’t noticed Guillermo in the doorway.

“What is it, Nandor?” Guillermo said, interrupting the vampire’s thoughts. He looked up. 

“Yes, Guillermo, thank you for coming. I need you to go to the Walled Greens to get me some new quills and stationary. I have some letters to write,” Nandor said.

“It’s Walgreens, and you can’t just order me around anymore. I’m not your familiar now. You can go to the store yourself,” Guillermo was trying to stand his ground.

“No, I can’t. You should because you’re my..you’re my..” Nandor was clearly stuck on what exactly Guillermo was to him at this point.

He huffed. “Whatever. Whenever you decide to stop being so disrespectful, you can have the privilege of getting me dressed for bed again,” Nandor said.

Guillermo wanted to pull his hair out, but he put his annoyance at the vampire aside to explain how he felt.

“Nandor, we need to talk about this. I don’t plan on getting you dressed anymore. I already do enough chores around here, and it’s not my job. I decided to stay to protect you and the others, and I can’t do that if you’re bossing me around like you used to.”

Nandor scoffed. 

“Bossing you around? I thought you liked doing your little dusting and laundry and errands for me, your  _ Master _ ?” Nandor’s tone almost came out mocking, rubbing salt in a wound that had been open for more than 10 years.

“I only did it because I thought you’d make a vampire,” Guillermo grumbled.

“Well, Guillermo, I can’t believe you were pathetic enough to stick around for a decade if you didn’t like doing chores and getting me dressed and letting me order you around. I don’t intend to make you a vampire, yet you’re still here. Honestly, you’re just taking up space in the house until I find a new, better familiar,” Nandor put an emphasis on the last three words, almost daring Guillermo to react.

He was too caught up in his own feelings to realize how much of an asshole he was being, and how much he was pushing his former familiar farther away than he already was. It was the last straw for Guillermo though.

“You don’t get to say that! You don’t get to do this anymore! You promised me something you were never going to give me, and now, you turn down my help when clearly I’m the only person in the world who cares whether or not you die. You know what, Nandor? Sometimes I just wish I could kill you myself!” Guillermo clasped his hands over his mouth as soon as the words left his mouth. 

Nandor stood there dumbfounded. It was not often the vampire was lost for words, but here they were. 

Guillermo had, in fact, confessed to Nandor, just once after the theatre incident, that the real reason he left the second time was because he was scared he couldn’t control his abilities as a slayer. 

That idea had lodged itself in the back of the vampire’s brain since then. He was terrified, but knew he needed Guillermo more than ever, and even scarier to Nandor, he wanted Guillermo to stay.

He shook his head at the thought before storming out.

“I’ll just go to the Walled Greens myself,” he huffed, refusing to meet Guillermo’s eyes.

He bumped into Jason on his way out. 

“You smell unhygienic,” he hissed. The door slammed as the vampire left the house.

“Vampires? Am I right?” Jason said, trying to lighten the mood as he walked into the fancy room. 

Guillermo sniffled. He almost wished things were back to the way they were before he knew he was a slayer, before the whole mess at the Theatre. Sure, he was unhappy then, but things were simpler. 

He looked up at Jason after trying and failing to wipe away any evidence of tears. The werewolf shifted his weight in the awkward silence, clearly evaluating what to do next.

“Hey man, want to play catch in the morning, you know, to get out of the house?” he suggested.

Guillermo wiped one last tear from his eye using his sleeve. He sighed.

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you there'd be angst!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Guillermo go out for a good game of catch. Jason tries to help Guillermo.

The two stood in the middle of the park just after dawn. Fog was just clearing and the grass was still wet.

“You thought I said catch? No, I meant fetch!” Jason said as he tossed Guillermo the ball. “Don’t worry. Just toss it as far as you can, and I’ll bring it back, I promise.”

Guillermo shrugged and lobbed the ball as hard as he could in front of him. Jason took off running, and sure enough, he came back with the ball in his mouth and dropped it front of Guillermo.

“Is this sanitary?” Guillermo asked, nudging the ball with his foot.

“Oh, it’s fine! You’ve got to stop worrying, Guillermo. Just relax! Now, can you throw it again?” Jason asked, excited energy was practically radiating off him.

Guillermo picked up the ball now covered in Jason’s spit and threw it again.

They kept up the game for another 15 minutes before Jason came back one final time and dropped to the ground panting. He eyed Guillermo, thinking about what he was going to say next.

“So….what’s up with you and Nandor?”

“Well, I was his familiar. Now...I don’t know. I still do all the chores around the house, and God knows why I put up with it. Maybe I’m the house’s protector? I mean, after our conversation last night, he’ll probably want me to leave,” Guillermo said. His answer came out more depressing than he realized. He had pushed away his family, his friends and now even the vampires.

Jason’s next comment pulled Guillermo out whatever existential thought he was having, though.

“No, man! Are you guys boning? Because he clearly has the hots for you!” Jason wiggled his eyebrows.

A blush covered Guillermo’s face. He started stammering.

“No...uh..why-why would you say that? Our relationship is strictly platonic, if that.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?!? You like him, right? It’s kind of obvious...”

Guillermo’s face couldn’t get any redder. He was caught. He sighed.

“Yeah, I mean. What am I supposed to do? Wouldn’t you fall in love with a tall, dark and handsome vampire like that?”

“Nahhh, not really my type. The dude seems dumb as bricks,” Jason paused and noticed Guillermo’s eyes well up again.

“Guillermo, you’ve been such a pal this past week, so I want to help you. Why don’t you win him over? You could write a letter telling him how you really feel? It’s less awkward than saying it, and isn’t he like old and would like that type of shit?” 

Guillermo thought about the last time he had left Nandor a note, and how that went.

“Oh no. I could never do that. I thought we’d be on equal footing after he found out I was a slayer, but I don’t think anything would make him see me as more than a familiar.”

“What if you just wrote the letter, but didn’t give it to him? That way you’ve got your feelings down on the page and out of your noggin. That type of thing always works for me,” Jason said.

“I don’t know…” Guillermo doubted Jason’s idea would help him, but he was at least grateful for the gesture.

“Well, think about it. And Guillermo, before we head back to the house, I’ve got one more question for you though,” Jason looked over his shoulder like he wanted to make sure no one was listening.

Before Guillermo could respond, Jason continued.

“Is Nadja, like, available? Because I’d love to get between her sheets, if you know what I mean.”

“You know, Jason-” Guillermo got cut off as the werewolf kept going.

“Like I want to eat her out,” he deadpanned.

Awkward silence hung in the air for a few seconds because the statement truly left Guillermo without words.

“Ahh, just kidding, man,” he said with a laugh. “But seriously....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to post an update every Wednesday, but don't hold me to that! 
> 
> And a reminder you can find me at sophiatheunicorniologist on tumblr. I haven't changed my url in 8 years, and 2021 isn't going to change that. Happy New Year!


End file.
